Just before their first child was born, Kerina and Carlos Arboleda searched for a religion in which to raise their family. Both came from Christian backgrounds, but wanted something to which they felt more connected.

They didn’t find anything suitable until, by chance, they came across the Baha'i Faith, with its message of unity and the oneness of all peoples.

“It was perfect for us,” says Ms. Arboleda. “We knew we wanted to teach our kids unity and acceptance. Baha'u'llah showed us how through His writings. The Faith also showed us how to be good parents. Carlos and I grew up getting scolded and spanked. The writings helped us realize that’s not the way to do it. They gave us accountability in meeting our kids’ spiritual needs.”

Baha'is have been practicing their own brand of “family values” long before the concept acquired a catchy name.

It’s safe to say most religions place great value on the family, but it’s particularly exalted in the Baha'i Faith. Indeed, the family is one of the building blocks of the religion and is considered a prerequisite to world peace:

“When relations within the family are conducted with due regard for justice, it will be an important factor in bringing about peace in the world.” (Baha’i International Community document, The Family in a World Community)

“The Baha'i writings regard child-rearing as the most noble of all professions,” says Jean Gould, a mother of three grown children in Northfield, Ill., and the author of the gently humorous Living in the Half-Light: Sketches of a Baha'i Family.

Rearing a family Baha'i-style means adhering to the teachings of the Faith: Being firm but loving, and teaching kids to be cooperative, responsible, respectful and loving people. Of course, that means the parents must model good behavior.


Carlos and Kerina Arboleda with their children Carlos and Kerina are models of good behavior, and their four children reflect that. They’re polite, helpful and sociable, and bear inspirational names. Teresa, 8 (Mother Teresa); Mohandas, 6 (Mahatma Gandhi’s given first name); Kofi, 4 (Kofi Annan, recent Nobel Award-winning secretary-general of the U.N.); and Kalima, 2 (“Kalimat,” the Arabic name for “words” and the name of the seventh month in the Baha'i calendar).

The couple, who live with their children in Skokie, Ill., just outside of Chicago, have a structure in place to reinforce spirituality and good behavior. Together they say daily prayers and observe Baha'i holy days. The children attend weekly spiritual education classes (A Baha'i version of “Sunday School”).

In addition, “we never attend or schedule events where our kids aren’t welcome,” Ms. Arboleda says. “We make sure there’s lots of family time.”

In accord with the Baha'i Faith’s advice that women make young children their priority, Ms. Arboleda stayed home with the kids until this fall, when she took a part-time job that allows her to be home when the kids come home from school.

“O ye loving mothers,” Abdu’l-Baha said, “know ye that in God’s sight, the best of all ways to worship Him is to educate the children and train them in all the perfections of humankind.”

When Carlos comes home from work and on the weekends, he spends a good deal of time with the kids.

“He’s involved in every aspect of their lives,” Ms. Arboleda says. “The kids see stability in the family. We believe as long as children have stability and love, they’ll be fine regardless of the path they choose and the bumps along that path.”


Jean Gould and her grandson, EthanMs. Gould points out that “Although the Baha'i writings say women are the first educators of their children, they also call for equality of men and women. It’s a core principle of the Faith.”

In modern times, that means a bit of juggling to make sure both parents are involved in child-rearing:

“Although men and women have complementary capacities and functions in certain areas, roles are not rigidly defined and may be adjusted, when necessary, to meet the needs of each family member and the family as a whole. While women are encouraged to pursue their careers, it is in a manner that does not conflict with their role as mothers. And fathers are not exempt from household duties and child-rearing.” (Baha’i International Community document, The Family in a World Community)

Ms. Gould admits “growing” a Baha'i family isn’t always a walk in the park (although that sometimes helps).

“It’s not a casual thing. It means spending lots of time with your kids, being with them every step of the way and being patient,” she says. “If you put your kids in the care of other people, you don’t develop that close connection.”

Frustrating though it can be at times, “taking care of kids day to day allows you to get to know them to the point where you can give them the ‘why’ as well as the ‘what,’” Ms. Gould says. “Why Baha'is are forbidden to drink alcohol or have extramarital sex; why it’s important to treat others well.”

The payoff for staying at home with the kids is tremendous, says Ms. Gould, whose children are 29, 26 and 21. She says she and her husband, Ron, are always getting little notes, big hugs and “unconditional happiness time” from and with their kids. They all like each other.

Part of their family’s success, Ms. Gould feels, lies in adhering to the Baha'i advice to honor one’s children:

“The integrity of the family bond must be constantly considered and the rights of the individual members must not be transgressed.”

“I don’t know if I would have thought to do that on my own,” she says. “But doing so kicks everyone into a higher consciousness.”

Admittedly, rearing kids in the Baha'i Faith is not easy. As blogger Mitko says, “Shaping a Baha’i identity — for myself and for my kids — is one of swimming against the tide,” countering ‘materialistic osmosis’ with spiritual action.

“I firmly believe that the Baha’i Faith can offer my kids the best spiritual defense they would need to deal with life’s challenges as they grow,” he says. “For we live in a society so materialistic and so confused about its priorities (I know it from my own multiple trials and errors), that unless provided with clear guidance and principles that are practiced on a daily basis, it is so easy to lose one’s bearings.”